me on my way to fuck shit up

kafkai:

dilated:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise.

And then i assume that they are lying to make fun of me

awfullyy:

I tweet because I enjoy talking to myself.

beyoncesson:

The longer I stare at this, the more I wanna fight them

celsisus:

ridge:

walking past your crush like

THIS GIRL IS A NATIONAL.HERO

irnpatience:

this video was everything i hoped for and more

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

cadenzaaaa:

this is my favorite vine ever

crunchbuttsteak:

have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?

tastier:

(18+)

isolated-roots:

first-kiss-since-45:

vikadi:

set of nostalgia drawings by gabriel picolo. i don’t think i have enough space on my tumblr for all his works that i’d like to post.

these are incredible

God bless this

foreveralone-lyguy:

j5h:

blastortoise:

engadget:

You can now unlock your Motorola phone with a ‘digital tattoo’

the fuck?

what the hell is the point of this are thumbs not good enough

here get this tattoo that you’ll have for the rest of your life to use with your phone that you’ll have for the next two years

buttlass:

officiallifealert:

buttlass:

HOW TO GET EXTRA COLORS ON SNAPCHAT: THE GUIDE
idk if this works on android, but it does on iphone so yeah. here ya go

This does work on Android

there u have it folx

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